Zackarotto / SpiritBomb Wedding

[Xyex]

The Chapel isn't that impressive... heck, it isn't even a real Chapel. Currently it's empty save for one figure, me, in a long black robe with silver hair hanging half-way down my back and walking slowly to the front, only marked as the front by the small cardboard podium. On the front door a piece of paper is tacked, it reads:

With some help (thanks to the 50 Fangirls I captured last week) I built a plywood building that's big enough to hold about a hundred people, more than enough for this occasion. Oh, and please, don't kill the Fangirls, they're helping me out for this. And besides, they're mine! If you would like something to eat or drink simply tell one of the enslaved Fangirls and they'll bring it too you.

Reaching the front of the room I take a seat in one of the several reclining chairs I had the Fangirls bring from their homes and wait for the others to arrive while keeping the Fangirls busy with the preperations. As I want I think outloud... "I must thank Random for those control collars, they work wonders." Leaning back I relax and await the arrival of the guests... and the Bride and Groom.

[zackarotto]

Hmm? I'm here. Tux and Kusari-Gama...

[Salem]

I HEAR CHURCH BELLS! *straightens white tux*

[Gohan]

Hey all, sorry I'm late. *straightens hair and tux*

...where's the bride?

[Mochi]

I'm here! One of the flower girls! ;D Where art thou, B-Kun?

If this is too off-topic, delete it: My dad and step mom are getting married on June 5th and me and Chibi are bride's maids. ^^

[SpiritBomb]

*walks down the aisle in bride dress*

Lalalalala,lalalala..

[Random]

*opens door and pokes head in, looking shamefaced when he sees the bride already going down the aisle* Sorry...sorry, difficult traffic...

*scoots into a pew and coughs, fruitlessly attempting to smooth down trenchcoat* Best wishes, left the gift at the front, hope you don't mind. *eyes a fangirl nervously* Here's to hoping the collar tests weren't flukey, right? Eheh. Eheh. .... *stares fixedly towards the front*

[Bkun]

*at the side of the aisle, disturbingly in a dress resembling one worn by a certain karaoke queen, tossing flowers* *_* Pretty!

[Random]

*gets smacked in the face with a flower*

......

*politely nibbles the flower while watching the ceremony*

[Xyex]

Looking over the gathered assortment of people, a most unusual assortment at that, I stand and adjust my robe. "Welcome, welcome. We can't begin just yet, I've no doubt more people will be coming. However, now that at least some of us are here I would like to get a few matters cleared away.

"Before we get to the wedding matters I'd like to thank Random for the collars. Oh, and you were right, there are still a few glitches, but it's nothing to big. So far only two have actually shorted out. The first just quit working and the other exploded..." I frown. "Ah well, no big deal. On to more important bussiness.

"First, who's to be the ring bearer?" I ask looking around. "I've got it up here so come and pick it up. Secondly, we need someone to give away the bride..." Looks around at everyone again. "Ah! Gohan! Perfect."

Turning from the podium I go over to a corner and pick up a small stereo with cords snaking away around the room to speakers here and there. Setting it down beside the podium I dig through my robes and produce a small book. "Now, I've got no bible or anything like that, so the 'Fangirl Hunting for Dummies' book will have to suffice. Also of note is that I haven't done this before... so it's going to be odd... well, that should fit right in with the lot of us though."

Sighs. "I think that's all the really important things..." stops as a crackling sound comes from the back of the 'chapel'. Everyone turns to look as one of the collars sparks and then quits glowing. "Well... make that three that have shorted out then, could someone deal with her before she gets away?"

[Salem]

*whispers* I think the groom bailed! What do you guys think?

[Random]

*leaps over to B-Kun, seizes him and throws him bodily at the fangirl, who is crushed instantly by the amount of tissue paper in his bodice*

Ha-HA! Take THAT! *stomps up and down on fangirl* And THAT and THAT and...uh...rightie-o, moving swiftly onward...

*nudges fangirl corpse underneath the podium and sits down, studiously attempting to avoid making tasteless jokes about the girl under the podium*

you will not sue Random for distributing faulty products, you will not sue Random for distributing faulty products...wotch, stop looking! Can't be a subliminal message if you can see it!

[zackarotto]

I can do that too, Mr. Fanfiction writer.

---
"I think we should start." says a tired Zackarotto as he pulls in a fourth fangirl by the leg with the chain of his Kusari-Gama.
"Ehh. This one has a screwed collar, too. Won't get me any damn sake."
"We don't have any sake!" she wails as he slices down on her.

"Anyway," continued Zacko. We built this place so we could have the wedding without waiting for a lot of people. We should get this show on the road." He turned.
"And Salem, I did NOT bail. You really are out to get me..."

[chibiwoosh]

*looks in through key hole* OH NO I AM REALLY LATE...... *slips under door and sits in back row* I can't see a damn thing.........*slips slowly into front row* That is better! ;D

[Dayspring]

The doors burst open with a shireking whinny of a black stallion. With a graceful lift of his leg, the mysterious rider, clad in black with an equally coloured leather jacket that falls down to his ankles, descends from his steed and grabs its reins, drawing the horse's eyes close to his own. In a low tone, as everyone watches, he begins what appears to be bickering with the sturdy stallion.

Dayspring: "You think you can be MY horse with that kind of attitude? The ONE time I ever needed to regroup and come around from the behind you take off on your own in terror?! How useless are you? Now we're abnormally late and I didn't get to change for the wedding! Me! The Ring Boy! I'm one of the guys who waits at the front for everybody to see! Now I can't bring my swords up with me so I'll strap them to you, even including Durendall, but so help me if you even THINK of taking off I swear to GOD I will hunt you down and it'll be off the glue factory with you!"

As a fangirl slave comes to remove his jacket for him, the Maverick Fangirl Slayer known as Dayspring instinctively draws his mighty sword, Durendall, from its sheath and slices her in half from the right shoulder down to the left hip. As the two humps of mass fall to the floor, creating a crimson red puddle to change the colour of the aisle, Dayspring clutches his fists and curses in fury.

Dayspring: "OH, FOR FUCK'S SAKE!! What ELSE can go wrong today?! Now I owe Xyex a beer. "

Dayspring walks slowly down the aisle to retrieve the rings from Xyex. His low grumbling is drowned out by Salem's cackling and the distant demands being made on a fangirl-slave by spiritbomb for more cookie dough. As Dayspring greets Xyex he lets out a sigh.

Xyex: "You killed one of my fangirl slaves."

Dayspring: "Yeah, sorry about that."

Xyex: "I left a sign telling not to and everything."

Dayspring: "What do you want me to say? When a fangirl comes up from behind me I react! It's really just the sign of a good slayer in the end."

Xyex: "You know you owe me..."

Dayspring: "...a beer! Yes! I know! Let's get on with this! I have a quota to meet and this wedding's eating up my time!"

Xyex hands the rings over to Dayspring who immediately begins circling them in his palm with his index finger.

Dayspring: "Mmmyyyyyyy PRECIOUSES....! "

[Jerseymilk]

Suddenly all the the fangirls appear to catch on fire and keel over dead in pools of their own blood. From out of seemingly nowhere, Jerseymilk appears, dressed in her regular hunting attire, long Chinese dress, blue Doc Martens, and long black trenchcoat, for Jersey did not feel like dressing up and one must respect the leader's wishes. The flames surrounding her katana disappear as she puts it back in it's sheath, "Sorry, for making a mess and for killing all your little servants Xyex, but I will not tolerate fangirls in any way, shape, or form in my presence." Silently walks over to Spirit and bows her head as she congratulates her, then walks over to Zacko, her second-in-command and shakes his hand, and also congratulates him. Heads off to sit down, on her way she passes by B-kun, her other second-in-command, who is beaming in his dress. "You realize you're insane don't you?", she remarks to him. Takes a seat next to Random and nods a greeting to her, as ChibiWhoosh and Salem start poking at a dead fangirl near them.

[Dayspring]

Dayspring breathes deep the smell of burning hair. Normally it's a smell that he loathes with a downright passion, but coming from fangirl corpses the scent is soothing like incence.

Dayspring (to Xyex): "Since she got kill all your other slaves, do I still owe you a beer for the one that I killed?"

Xyex: "Yes."

Dayspring: "DAMNATION!"

[Jerseymilk]

Upon hearing this, Jersey smirks to herself and lets out a quiet "Heh". ChibiWhoosh and Random are now playing with the fangirl body like a poseable action figure putting her arms and legs in different positions.

[Xyex]

Xyex rubs his forehead as he looks at the mess. "I didn't sign up for this..." he mumbles brushing some blood off his robe with his other hand. "You better count all of them toward my total, they were mine after all..." he then turns to Salem and ChibiWoosh, "And would you wait to do that until AFTER the wedding, please?"

He turns a round and grabs a large box and then takes it over to the two of them. "Here, take as many parts as you want, at least that way I'll have someone cleaning this place up."

He lets out an exasperated sigh and returns to his podium. Just before reaching it he bends down and picks up a head that managed to escape the flames. "Well, could have been worse I suppose." he mutters tossing it into Salem and Chibi's box.

Stopping at the podium he clears his throat and motions for all the people partaking in the wedding to take their places and then clears his throat. "Before things get even futher out of hand I think we should begin this." he declares, and then under his breath adds, "so I can get away from you people for a little while..."

Bending down he pushes the on button on the stereo and the 'here comes the bride' music starts to play.

[Dayspring]

with a wily grin on his face from ear to ear, Dayspring winks at Jersey as he takes a button-device of some kind out of his pocket.

Dayspring: "Dare me to press it"? ;D

[Jerseymilk]

With a coy smile and a calm voice, she answers, "Go ahead".

[Xyex]

Xyex looks at Dayspring and frowns. "What are you up to? I'm trying to do my job here." He shifts positions and places his hand on a small red button under the podium.

[zackarotto]

If anyone sabotages my wedding, I'm killing every last person.

I think you should start, Xyex. The two of us are here, and that's what counts.

[Dayspring]

**Pwesses da widdle wed button** ;D

....


....

Why is nothing hapenning?

...

...

Hmm... maybe it's because the fangirls are all dead now...

**A million miles away little fangirl Sally is weeping with joy as her boyfriend of 6 years gets one knee and proposes**
"Will you be my Sailor Moon? I promise to be your prince Darien!"
"Oh yes! Yes, Darien I love you!"

**The silence breaks as a million crows come from a million different direction and rain havoc on the joyful fancouple, clawing, screeching and pecking at vital organs and eye sockets. After the birds disperse, all that remains are two skulls with mouths opened as if shrieking some unimaginable horor for the world to hear**

**Meanwhile, back at the chapel**
Dayspring: Sorry guys. I guess I have no gift for you.
It's a shame, really. You would have LOVED it!

[chibiwoosh]

*crawls around on floor gather body parts* Random come help. ;D *throws them in the box* ....*keeps gathering*