Making Amends

[twinbeemkii]

Hello everyone. I suppose to those out of the loop this post might come about as rather odd, but to those it's directed to it will make complete and hopefully understandable sense.

First off allow me to apologize for using this place to post this, but I couldn't find much place else and it seemed the best spot to place it

To all the chatters in BYPS, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for all my mistakes. I'm sorry for the way I acted most times, for not seeing things straight, and for not having more faith in friendships. I'm not a perfect human. Far from it. I have major problems, and I admit to that. I also admit to wanting to fix them. I won't act an ass and try to convince anyone my problems are worse then theirs. I'll simply say I have a major problem trusting and opening up. Ever since I was a child I've been an outcast, whether by choice or by force. Over the years I guess I built up a wall around myself to protect myself from outside threats, and unfortunately it seems it's harmed friend and foe alike. You all gave me your friendship and I was too blind to see it. I hurt you all and in doing so I hurt myself.

I'll get to the point. I miss you all something awful. Without you all a big part of my life is missing, and it hurts terribly. I won't say I don't deserve it because I do. I miss all my friends and I would do anything to see them all again. I could beg and whine and cry, but I think we're all tired of that, so I'll simply say this. I love you all and leave myself at your mercy. If you can find it in your hearts to forgive this blind fool, I will do whatever it takes to make things right. You all have opened my eyes to my own faults, and for that I will always be grateful. If I'm never again allowed back or ever get to speak to any of you again, then I at least know for that period of time I knew some of the best people I will ever have met. I lied to you all and hurt you, and for that I am so sorry. Please forgive me. I love you guys and just want to make things right.

For those of you that took the time to read all of this, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I will keep all of you in my mind and in my heart and in my soul. I hope one day we can hug and laugh and be happy together once more.

[Cat]

Let me be the first to comment and say - well, firstly, I wasn't even there and only have the story second hand. But it seems to me that this is a much more mature way of handling the situation, and hopefully the whole episode has given you a chance to think about things. I know this current problem follows a build-up of resentment from #BYPS goers, and I'd really like to believe that the kind of behavior which creates this kind of hurt is going to stop.

We always wanted you to believe that we like you for you, Twin. I think it's frustration that you would never accept our assurances that has brought us to this point.

As to whether or not you get another chance, I'm not around enough to really make a judgment. But I wish you the best of luck in getting everyone else to accept your apology.

With my love, Cat.

[Mochi]

I forgive you Niichan. :3

So you're not gonna lie like that anymore right? D:

[conanthessj]

Well, Twin. Despite me being there when all this happened, despite some rocky chats we've had on AIM since, I have taken some time to think this all over. I really have. Twin, I'll be honest, you did make me think the worse of you when everything went down. It may take a lot of time for me to forget what happened, if that's even possible.

However, I am thinking of putting all this crap behind and even forgiving you. As for if you can ever be let back into the BYPS room again, it's like I've said on AIM, I'm not gonna try to do any persuading to the others to letting you back in, that's your job. You've made a good step from my point of view with this post, showing you may in fact be genuine and serious about this. That's exactly how you should be; genuine, serious, regretful. If you expect any remorse and/or consideration from the rest of the BYPS gang to let you back in, alls I can say is keep working on ways to prove you won't lie to the magnitude that ya' did before.

I don't know what else I can say. For what it's worth, assuming you never lie like that again, I've put all this crap behind me. Be strong and truly try to prove yourself to those who are still hurt, upset, or disappointed.

[twinbeemkii]

Thank you to all who responded and took the time to read it. I don't know how else to say I'm sorry to all those I hurt. I know most of you don't believe my sincerity, and I don't know how else to convince everyone without pushing them. All I can say is if anyone is in doubt, give me another chance, and if I even dare to try hurting anyone again, ban me for life. You won't hear an argument out of me. I just want the chance to make things right, but I don't know how to do that if everyone denies me that chance to. Please...I want to be a good person...I don't want to be alone anymore...I will do whatever you want me to do... I just want to come home again...

[Check up]

Hello everyone. Just checking up with everyone. I'm making progress with my therapist, and I'm working through alot of my emotional baggage. How are all of you? I miss you all and have been thinking about you alot lately. I hope you are all well. Love you guys.

[twinbeemkii]

Sorry about the last post. I wasn't logged in.