The things that were are history. (Dark DBZ Fic)

[Xyex]

[Note: Lyrics are Running Out of Time by Ozzy Osbourne.]

1 - Forever Tomorrow

Been around this world so many times
If you could only see my mind
I watch my secret heaven turn to hell

It was the same thing tonight as the previous night. The same as the night before that too. And every night. It was always the same. It had been the same ever since. Ever since everything changed. Every night for two years now. The nightmare came and disturbed his sleep. It came and played over and over in his mind. Three, four, five times in a night. It came and it worked its way into the depths of his mind. It came and it slowly whittled away at him. He wasn't the same boy he had been two years ago. Tonight had been no different and now he was awake again.

Faith alone has guided me
The ghost of my own destiny
I haven’t even got a soul to sell

It was two a.m. and he was up for the third time that night. Scared back into the waking world by that nightmare. Everything was wrong now and it was all getting to be too much. His mother kept telling him it'd be better tomorrow. Always tomorrow. Tomorrow never came though. It was the same now as it was two years ago. No. It was worse now. Nothing had gotten better. Nothing would get better. It was gone. Yesterday would never end and tomorrow would never come. The world was all wrong now. Everything was wrong.

All the things I put me through
I wouldn’t wish my hell on you
You’ll never know what’s going on inside

He walked outside into the cool night air and gazed up at the stars above him. As he watched them twinkle in the darkness he decided. He wouldn't go back to bed tonight. He wouldn't have the nightmare again tonight. He'd wait until tomorrow... and maybe this time it would be the tomorrow his mother kept promissing would come. No, he'd not sleep more tonight. Instead... instead he would go visit them. He'd visit them and talk to them again. It had been a while since the last time. A week, maybe two. He wasn't really sure, the days tended to blend together.

Just another lonely broken hero
Picking up the pieces of my mind
Running out of faith and hope and reason
I’m running out of time
Running out of time

Lifting into the air he turned off toward the north and flew off. As he flew he closed his eyes and just absorbed the peace and quiet. He used to love sleeping out under the stars, enjoying the calm nights. That had been another life though. Before it all began. Nights out under the stars. Just him and his father. And in the morning there would be food stacked twice as high as him waiting. More food than even he could eat on his own, but his father never had a problem with it. Now he didn't like looking at the stars so much. It always brought back memories.

Trouble always seems to find
A way to live inside my mind
My haunted head and me remain alone
Underneath my masqerade
A simple man who’s so afraid
I try to find a light to guide me home

Opening his eyes again he saw it below in the pale light of the moon. With a sigh he pulled to a stop and floated down to the ground. There they all stood, side by side. Five memorial pillars. They were at the top of a small hill, a nice tall shade tree behind them, and a cool gentle stream at the hill bottom. It was a nice serene place for it they'd thought. And so it's where it had been set up. The graves, what ones had been possible, were off in the city. But they'd wanted a place where they could come to visit them all at once.

Momma please just hold me tight
Feeling so afraid tonight
Cause your the only one that really knows

Five memorials. Five friends that were gone. He closed his eyes and dropped to his knees. "It's just not fair..." he said softly, images flashing in his mind. One by one they'd gone. One by one they'd been taken. Piece by piece it had changed. Piece by piece he'd died inside. Step by step everything had fallen apart. Step by step the void had formed. Life was bearable, to an extent. But that was it. And only because he'd not lost everything. Not yet. And he hoped, not ever.

Just another lonely broken hero
Picking up the pieces of my mind
Running out of faith and hope and reason
I’m running out of time
Running out of time

"Couldn't sleep either?" a voice asked gently from behind him, soft footsteps coming up the hill. The boy turned and saw the sad and pained face of his father illuminated faintly in the moon's glow. He'd not been the same either. Worse, even. He'd been closer to them all, save one. The boy shook his head in answer to his father's question. Then he turned back to look at the pillars.

Fighting for my sanity
Many nights of tragedy
Got to leave my wretched ways behind

"It's not right." he said at last. "It's not fair. They gave all and everything for all of us.... It's not right that the rest of the world gets to go on and be happy... what'd they ever do? It was them who helped. It was them who fought. They're the ones that earned this peace... and they don't get to enjoy it."

Just another lonely broken hero
Picking up the pieces of my mind
Running out of faith and hope and reason
I’m running out of time
Running out of time
I’m running out of time
Running out of time

A hand rested gently on his shoulder. "I know, Gohan." his father said softly as his eyes read the names on the memorials. Yamcha. Chaotzu. Tien. Krillin. Piccolo. Five memorials for five people. Five friends. And for an enitre race. There were no more Nameks now. No more Dragonballs. No more wishes. No more bringing back lost friends. No more... anything. Just the pain of yesterday. The darkness of today. The hope of tomorrow. The never coming tomorrow. Forever tomorrow.

Underneath my masquerade
A simple man who’s still afraid

He felt the hand slip off his shoulder and heard a soft thump behind him. Turning he saw Goku laying on the ground, holding his chest, pain etched on his face. "Daddy!"

[Sato]

Woah... Nice... Looking forward to the next Chapter dude... ;D

[Cat]

Ditto for me. It rocked.

[Xyex]

[Note: Lyrics are Crawling by Linkin Park]

2 - Nevermore Forevermore

Tomorrow. Always tomorrow. Eternity and a day. Years of pain and the end of hope. Nothing was the same. Everything changed. Six months. That's how long it had been now. And now the hill had two more memorials. Two more pillars to lost friends. Two more markers of memories. Two more markers of a better world. Two more reminders of that which had been lost. The sadness. It was there. It was stronger than ever. But it was hidden.

Crawling in my skin
These wounds they will not heal
Fear is how I fall
Confusing what is real

It was shrouded and buried. Locked away from the world. Locked deep inside. It was not the sadness that filled his eyes. No. It would be a welcomed sight to those who could see his eyes. Sadness. Sadness would be preferred. But sadness wasn't there. Anger. Hatred. Darkness. Never sadness in those eyes. Just anger. Just hatred. Just darkness. Everlasting darkness. It was a sight to behold. A sight to fear. It was a presence within him. A presence that changed him. It grew day by day. Engulfed him. Consumed him. Became him. Was him. And it was terrifying.

There’s something inside me that pulls beneath the surface,
Consuming, confusing,
This lack of self-control I fear is never ending, controlling,
I can’t seem to find myself again
My walls are closing in
[without a sense of confidence I’m convinced
There’s just too much pressure to take]
I’ve felt this way before
So insecure

Six months since it began. Who knew when it would end. Six months since that day. Six months since the pillars went up. Two more memorials. Two more lost. Death. It came again and again. It came and left him alone. Now there was just him. His father had gone first. The doctors said it had been pain. Sadness. It had swallowed him. Weakened him. Torn at him. And his heart couldn't take it. And then he was gone.

Crawling in my skin
These wounds they will not heal
Fear is how I fall
Confusing what is real

And then she followed. That night she'd fallen. Gone. Engulfed in the sadness. Lost. The pain had gripped her. Taken her. Torn at her. Consumed her. Taken her. Two days. That's all it took. And then nothing. No more. Gone. And now he was alone. Bulma had taken him in. She tried to look after him. Talk to him. He never spoke now. Never said anything. She almost never saw him. Always locked in his room or gone off somewhere. She didn't know what to do. Didn't know how to help.

Discomfort, endlessly has pulled itself upon me
Distracting, reacting
Against my will I stand beside my own reflection
It’s haunting how I can’t seem
To find myself again
My walls are closing in
[without a sense of confidence I’m convinced
That there’s just too much pressure to take]
I’ve felt this way before
So insecure...

She knew though. The darkness. She could see it. Feel it. Almost touch it. The anger. The pain. The hate. They were strong. Stronger than the sadness. Overwhelming. Consuming. Eating away at him. The boy she'd met a few years ago was gone. Gone and not coming back. Lost in the darkness. And she was worried. Worried about him. About herself. And about what might happen. The world moved on. Life moved on. The people went about their business. Ignorant and unknowing.

Crawling in my skin
These wounds they will not heal
Fear is how I fall
Confusing what is real

Bulma stood now in the city market. She'd gone to do some shopping and found it. A newspaper talking about the past. It was the front page story. It was may, the Budokai. A new stadium had been built. A new tournament was going to be held. And there in print was the story. The story of the last tournament. The story of the fight against Saiya-jins. It was all there. But it wasn't right. It was all wrong. Across the top, the headline read, in big bold letters. Hoax.

Crawling in my skin
These wounds they will not heal
Fear is how I fall
Confusing what is real

She stood there, her shopping forgotten, and read it. And as she read it the pain and anger swelled inside her. It was all lies in the story. All lies. Lies. And she knew. Gohan. If he saw this. But he had seen it. He was at that hill now. The paper clenched in his hand as he gazed at the memorials. Chaotzu. Tien. Krillin. Piccolo. Goku. Chi-Chi. "It's not fair. It's not right. We fought them. We gave everything to save them. And then... this."

There’s something inside me that pulls beneath the surface
Consuming, confusing what is real

His eyes burned with the sadness. Burned with the anger. Burned with the hatred. Burned with the darkness. He'd been watching them all for weeks now. Watching as the people went about their day. They acted as though they had the right to be here. Like they were better than his friends. Their faces and voices floated through the air around him. Their laughter. They were enjoying the world, the peace, but they didn't do anything. It was his friends that deserved this world. They'd fought for it. Died for it. The rest... they'd done nothing. "It's not right!"

This lack of self control I fear is never ending
Controlling, confusing what is real

Bulma's eyes widened in shock as she fell, the ground shaking beneath her feet. She looked at the paper and then up at the sky, tinged golden in the setting sun. No. The sun had already set earlier. So then... what? "Gohan." She closed her eyes and pulled her legs up to chest wrapping her arms around them. "I knew this would come. It's too much. Too much for one boy." Nevermore would it hurt. Forevermore would there be peace. Nevermore would there be calm. Forevermore would there be darkness.

[Xyex]

[Note - Song is Down with the Sickness by Disturbed.

3 - Blinding Darkness

Days had passed. Days and days. A week. Maybe two. He wasn't sure. He didn't care. He didn't care at all. He didn't care about anything. Anything but setting things right. Things had to be set right. Things had to be made fair. It had to be fair. And he was the one. The one to fix it. The one to change it. The one to make it right. To make it fair. It all began that day. That day two and a half years ago. No. Before that. That day three and a half years ago. That's when it started. And now it ended. It all ended.

Drowning deep in my sea of loathing
Broken your servant I kneel
It seems what’s left of my human side
Is slowly changing in me

It began more than once. It began again and again. A start that started over. The change came in steps. Step by step. Start by start. More than once it began. More than once the change came. Many beginnings. One ending. In death it began. In death it would end. One by one. Piece by piece. Place by place. It would all be fixed. The news carried the story. Two cities gone. Gone completely. Gone entirely. Gone. Nothing left. No rubble. No people. No pain. No happiness. Gone. Consumed by the blinding darkness.

Looking at my own reflection
When suddenly it changes
Violently it changes (oh no)
There is no turning back now
You’ve woken up the demon in me

Bulma wondered how long it would take. When it would come. The people all packed. They fled and ran. Away from the cities and into the woods. They ran and they hid. They knew that it was coming. They called for help. Called for aid. And she couldn't help but laugh. She didn't know why but... she found it amusing. They would so easily turn their backs on those that gave them everything. And now they asked for them to return. But that wouldn't happen. Not now. Not ever. It was over. It was all finally over. All that was left was the wait. Day by day. Soon it would come. The darkness. The peace. The end.

Get up, come on get down with the sickness
Open up your hate, and let it flow into me
You mother get up
You fucker get up
Madness is the gift, that has been given to me

The news carried the story. A shower of golden light came down. Fell upon the city. Upon the people. And then there was nothing. Gone. Destroyed. Restored. And in the video she saw him. Walking in the smoke and dust. His eyes. So full of anger. Hate. Darkness. Sadness. Piece by piece it had torn at him. Piece by piece it had ripped him apart from the inside. Gohan was no longer Gohan. The eyes were so cold. So distant. So dark. So uncaring. And yet. The pain. The pain shone bright in those eyes. The tears. The tears flowed consantly.

I can see inside you, the sickness is rising
Don’t try to deny what you feel
It seems that all that was good has died
And is decaying in me

Step by step. Piece by piece. One by one. City by city. It was changed. It was destroyed. It was fixed. And the darkness raged. The darkness held. The darkness grew. The voice laughed. The faces taunted. The anger screamed. And piece by piece he faded. Collapsed into his mind. Died. And so the days moved on. One by one. And tomorrow finally began to draw near. Tomorrow grew closer and closer. Piece by piece. Scream by scream. Death by death. He moved closer. Closer to tomorrow. Forever seeking tomrrow.

It seems you’re having some trouble
In dealing with these changes
Living with these changes (oh no)
The world is a scary place
Now that you’ve woken up the demon in me

The darkness came slowly. Day by day it took him. Now it had him. Held him. Comforted him. Released him. The pain ebbed. Died. Faded. Soon it would be gone. He would be free. He would be safe. The pain would go away and he could rest. But he had to fix it all first. Had to fix everything. Once it was fixed he would be safe. He would be free. No more pain. No more anger. No more hate. Just the darkness. The calm, comforting, embracing darkness. And then... then he could see them. He could go to them. He could be with them. The pain would go away and he could go home. Tomorrow. Forever tomorrow. Path lit by the blinding darkness.

[Xyex]

[Note - Song is Last Resort by Pappa Roach

4 - Momentary Eternity

"As you can see, everything has been completely destroyed!" The camera panned over the desolate landscape as the reporter spoke. "There is no trace left that Capital City once stood here. This makes the twenty-first city to be destroyed in the last two weeks." Bulma reached out and picked up the remote switching channels. This one was on a news report as well, live from River Town. The explosions were still sounding along with gun fire. Bulma closed her eyes and leaned back into the couch. He wasn't much further away now.

Cut my life into pieces
This is my last resort
Suffocation
No breathing
Don’t give a fuck if I cut my arm bleeding
This is my last resort

"This is just... this is unbelievable ladies and gentlemen! This... child... his power seems incredible! The bullets only bounce off, the missiles explode but do nothing!" the reporter's voice echoed from the TV. "We still have no idea who or what he is but we have overheard him speak a few times. Something about fixing the world and setting things right... This is one reporter who thinks that the apocalypse has come." Another explosion sounded and the screen went black. Bulma switched off the TV and moved over to the balcony.

Cut my life into pieces
I’ve reached my last resort
Suffocation
No breathing
Don’t give a fuck if I cut my arm bleeding
Do you even care if I die bleeding
Would it be wrong
Would it be right
If I took my life tonight
Chances are that I might
Mutilation outta sight
And I’m contemplating suicide

She knew what he was thinking. What he was feeling. She wondered, though, if he was even aware anymore. If, perhaps, he was lost now, within himself. She'd seen it coming. She knew it would happen eventually. But had it already happened? All their talk of salvation and redemption. The time for that was gone. They weren't dealing with a person now. They were dealing with a child lost in his own grief. A child lost in his own anger and hatred. A child lost to himself. They were dealing with a Saiya-jin child operating soley on instinct. A child trying to fix himself the only way he knew how. Turning she looked back at the pictures on the wall. Pictures of her and Yamcha. Of her and Gohan. Her and Goku. Her and everyone.

Cause I’m losing my sight
Losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me I’m fine
Losing my sight
Losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me I’m fine

She knew what Gohan was feeling because... because she was too. She knew. She knew it all. She knew the pain. The anger. The hate. The despair. The urge to make it all go away. But unlike Gohan she could do nothing but wait. Wait for the end to come. Nothing was the same now. Nothing would be the same ever again. She closed her eyes and leaned against the railing on the balcony. Let the wind blow through her hair, let the sun shine on her face, and feel the sadness welling up again. No. She didn't have to wait. Didn't have to wait for Gohan to come for her. She climbed up onto the railing and stood there for a moment, her arms held out at her sides. And then she let everything fall away.

I never realized I was spread too thin
Till it was too late
And I was empty within
Hungry
Feeding on chaos
And living in sin
Downward spiral where do I begin
It all started when I lost my mother
No love for myself
And no love for another
Searching to find a love up on a higher level
Finding nothing but questions and devils

"No more." he said walking down the street, energy flying from his body at anything that moved. "No more pain. No more hate. No more evil. No more. The world is wrong. Everything is wrong. It needs to be fixed. I need to fix it. Fix everything." Maybe then. Maybe then it would be better. Once there was nothing. Nothing but him. Maybe that would be enough. Maybe that would set him free. Maybe that would end it all. Maybe then things could be returned. Maybe... maybe he could finally see that tomorrow. The one his mom kept promising would come. He wanted that tomorrow. He'd destroy everything and then it would come. It would have to come. He'd get rid of everything that held it back. That stopped it from coming. He'd fix it.

Cause I’m losing my sight
Losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine
Losing my sight
Losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me I’m fine
Nothing’s alright
Nothing is fine
I’m running and I’m crying
I’m crying
I’m crying
I’m crying
I’m crying

The clouds opened up above him and a light rain began to fall. It soaked into the ground. Into the buildings. Into his clothes. He turned his head up and looked, his eyes opening slightly. The world was crying. The world was sad. Why? Why was it sad? Why was it crying? He could hear the sobs. Hear the cries. Why? Why was it crying. That didn't make sense. He was fixing it. He was fixing everything. Why would the world cry? He lowered his head again and gazed around him. Voices echoing in the air. Echoing in his mind. Voices and faces everywhere.

I can’t go on living this way
Cut my life into pieces
This is my last resort
Suffocation
No breathing
Don’t give a fuck if I cut my arm bleeding
Would it be wrong
Would it be right
If I took my life tonight
Chances are that I might
Mutilation outta sight
And I’m contemplating suicide

He couldn't fix it. He couldn't do anything. He couldn't change anything. He never could. It was his fault. He was weak. He couldn't do anything. It was his doing. The world wasn't broken. He was. If he was stronger he could have stopped it all. It was his fault they all died. Tien. Chaotzu. Yamcha. Krillin. Piccolo. His dad. His mom. He did it. Not them. He was weak. Too weak to save them. Too weak to protect them. He was the one that was broken. He was the one that needed to be fixed. The world was crying and he knew why. As his golden hair feel into black. As the pain and anger left his eyes draining the teal color from them. He fell to his knees.

Cause I’m losing my sight
Losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me I’m fine
Losing my sight
Losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me I’m fine
Nothing’s alright
Nothing is fine
I’m running and I’m crying

"Don't stop." the voice echoed. The voice he'd been hearing all this time. The voice he'd been following. He didn't like that voice. It wasn't a good voice. He knew it from somewhere. He knew it and he didn't like it. Why? Whose voice was it? "Kill them. Destroy them all. Fix it." That voice again. He blinked as it registered. Vegeta. Why was Vegeta in his head? Why was he listening to him? Where.... where was everyone else? Lightning flashed through the sky and thunder rumbled across the city. Slowly those who had been hiding from the boy emerged and stared in wonder at the huddled mass. The small boy curled into a ball in the pouring down rain.

I can’t go on living this way
Can’t go on
Living this way
Nothing’s alright

"Tomorrow." he said softly. "How can I find tomorrow? I'm lost. I want to go home. Mom... dad... Piccolo... I want to go home."

[Xyex]

Song is Gravity of Love by Enigma

5 - Awake and Dreaming

"I just want to go home." he repeated. He thought he might be crying. He didn't know. He couldn't tell. The world was crying and its tears were drowning out his. He could hear voices around him. Many voices. They were calling to someone. Calling someone back. Calling someone away from him. Someone was coming to him? He opened his eyes and saw a girl. Not much older than he. She was walking toward him slowly. Her hair was matted to her head from the rain. He could see in her eyes sadness and fear... and himself. He could see himself in her eyes. And he knew she could see him.

Turn around and smell what you don’t see
Close your eyes ... it's so clear
Here’s the mirror, behind there is a screen
On both ways you can get in

She walked toward him slowly. Her eyes locked on his. The pain he could see reflected what he felt. Was it his pain? Was it hers? No. Theirs. They both had it. It was why the world was crying. Everyone could feel the pain. Finally she reached him and knelt. She looked at him. Her lips were quivering as she fought tears. But then she couldn't hold it and she cried. She cried and he cried and the world cried. The tears fell and mixed. They soaked into the ground and made the world into sadness. He could feel it now. He could feel it all. The pain. The pain and the hurt and the hate. He could feel all of it.

Don’t think twice before you listen to your heart
Follow the trace for a new start

"Why?" she asked him. Why? Why what? He didn't know why. He didn't know what. He didn't know her. Who was she? Why was she crying? Why was she asking him why? "Why did you... why did you.... why...." He blinked at her and pulled his legs up tighter against his body. Why was he hurting more now? Why did the sound of her voice cause him to feel so sad? "My daddy..." He blinked. Her daddy? What? He's the one that lost his dad. His dad and his mom and his friends. "Why?" she asked again.

What you need and everything you’ll feel
Is just a question of the deal
In the eye of the storm you’ll see a lonely dove
The experience of survival is the key
To the gravity of love

He wanted it to go away. He wanted it all to leave. Leave him alone. Go away. Be gone. No more. It hurt. It hurt too much. He couldn't take it. He couldn't handle it. The pain wouldn't stop. Why wouldn't it stop? Why was she crying? Why was she hurting? Why was he laying in the middle of the city? Why couldn't he just go home? He wanted to go back. Back to before. Back to when everything was right. Back to when he was just a boy. Just a boy chasing butterflies. Just a boy living happily with his mom. Just a boy living happily with his dad. No more aliens. No more fighting. No more pain. No more being alone...

Try to think about it ...
That’s the chance to live your life and discover
What it is, what’s the gravity of love

Alone? She was there. His friends were gone. His mom was gone. His dad was gone. But... this girl was here. Who? Why? Did it matter? He felt so cold. So empty. So numb. Everything was a blur. Darkness. So cold. His eyes closed. So numb. "Please... tell me." It was her voice again. It was so sad. He felt something. Something new. Something... what? It wasn't pain... it wasn't the sadness...

Look around just people, can you hear their voice
Find the one who’ll guide you to the limits of your choice

"Sorry." It came before he knew he was speaking. Sorry? He was sorry? Why? What for? What'd he do? Did he do something? Did he... did... "I just wanted.... I wanted it all to go away." he said as it came to him. It all came to him. All of it came back. All of everything and it hurt. But.... not as much. Something.... something felt different. Something felt... He opened his eyes. Felt. Something in him... felt. It felt something other than his own pain and sadness. He felt this girl's. He felt her pain... his pain. It was his pain too. He caused it... how... how could he have... he... "I wanted to go home. I wanted to see them again..."

But if you’re in the eye of the storm
Just think of the lonely dove
The experience of survival is the key
To the gravity of love

He looked into her eyes again and saw himself reflected in them. "I just wanted the pain to end. My friends... everyone.... they're all gone. It's not fair. They're all gone and I'm alone. And everyone else was happy... I just... just want... want to...." His eyes closed again and his body gave into the exhaustion. Two weeks he'd been going. Two weeks he'd been shut down. Two weeks he'd been running on nothing but instinct. Nothing but the pain. And now he needed to rest. Maybe now... maybe he could find his way home. Maybe when he woke up... maybe it would finally be tomorrow.

-=End Saga=-