DBZ Movie13

[caejones]

Parody, bad writing intensional...


DBZ Movie 13:
Punks: *putty babble*
Gohan: We can do it guys!
Videl: There are only two of us.
Punk: *Putty babble*
Videl: You should learn something.
Gohan: Saiya Rangers!
Punk: *putty Babble*
Videl: Urm, they're still conscious.
Gohan: Yeah, but they're our captives.

- School -

Gohan: Sorry I'm late; I had something to take care of.
Sharpener: Yeah right Gohan. You and Videl have the same midi on your cels, and no one else seems to know what it is!
Videl(Answering communicator): Yeah Zordon?
Zordon(over com): Rangers! Teleport to the command center immediately!
Videl: Wouldn't it be quicker to tell us over the communicator?
Zordon(Over com): That is true. Ok, there's a man trying to jump off of a building in the city.
Videl: You think that's bad? I have trig in twenty!
Zordon: What's bad is your choice of one-liners.
Gohan: I have something to take care of.

- Tower -
Hoi: I'm gonna jump!
People: Don't jump!
Hoi: I'm gonna do it this time!
People: No! Between the roadblock and the cleanup crew and the paperwork... no!
(Videl and Gohan arrive without any exceptional details to report).
Hoi: Oh! I'm gonna jump!
Videl: Ok.
Gohan: No! Don't jump! There's no way we flying people can possibly catch you before you hit the pavement!
Videl: Jump if you're going to.
Hoi: *jumps*
Videl and Gohan: *catches*
Hoi: Jumping was stupid. If you had been slower it could have gone bad! So I'll yell at you!

- Later -
Hoi: So you've never heard of Tapion?
Gohan: I thought the "Who the heck is that?" would have made that clear.
Hoi: Tapion's a really cool guy locked in this music box that no one can open!
Gohan: *tries to open it*. Wow! It won't open!
Videl: Well, since you're at least a thousand times stronger than me, I should try to open it! *tries* It won't open!
Hoi: You could use your power Coins to open it!
Gohan: What about power coins?
Hoi: Well, surely your powers come from somewhere...
Gohan: That's nont suspicious at all! Let's get the others!


- Capsule Corp -

*Communicator midi plays*
Goku: Yeah Gohan, what's up?
Gohan: We need the power coins to open a music box holding someone I know nothing about but was told by a strange old man is a hero that needs freeing!
Goku: Wow! Alright guys, let's bring them together!
Gohan: Saiya1!
Videl: Saiya2!
Goten: Wait... what am I again?
ChiChi: Your the Little Brother Zord!
Goten: Oh right!
Trunks: And I'm the Only Child zord!
Kuririn: And my powers were drained by Frieza's Baldy Candal, but I can still give you the power of the Baldy coin!
Shenron: *opens music box*
Tapion: Gah! You actually listend to this pink old guy's vague explanation? He has wiskers! *storms off to hide*
Trunks: Wow! I want to be able to chew out the most powerful people in the universe and storm out too!
Bolma: That's not nice.

- Command center -

Alpha: I yi yi yi yi! A monster is attacking the City!
Zordon: Contact the rangers at once!

- City -

Gohan: It's morphing time!
*Gohan and Videl morph in a nondescript manner, no amazing details filling vision or hearing.*
*they fight the monster*
Tapion: I need DragonZord power! *plays flute*
Monster: Ah crap... *runs away*
Gohan: That's weird. I wonder if he's using the power of the Baldy Coin!

- Elsewhere -

*Trunks tries to be Tapion's Friend. Tapion wants to be alone. Hoi tries to take the dragon dag-- the flute. Trunks stops him. Trunks and Tapion hang out. Much exposition occurs that explains things that are important to the understanding of the story.*

- Capsule Corp -

Bolma: Tapion no Bedoruume ga aru!
Tapion: Honto? Ur... "This I gotta See!". Do you really want me to say that?
Bolma: Well... I was supposed to say something else... but I just like the sound of "Tapion no Beddoruumu", don't you?
Trunks: But you left out the guttural stop the first time!
Bolma: Ok, so Tapion should be able to get the effects of sleep without releasing the apocalypse from in here!
Hoi: Not if I have anything to say about it! *sends the monster to attack*
*the top half escapes and Hildagarn is whole*

Hoi: Hahahahaha! Hiruuuuudagarn!
Tapion: I can already see you're going to have trouble controling it if you can't pronounce its name...
Hoi: And I will cast a spell to make you weak until a pivotal moment in the fight! *does so*
Gohan: Looks like it's time for a bad one-liner!
Goku: It's morphing time!
*Goku, Gohan, Goten, and Trunks go SSJ and attack Hildagarn*
Vegeta: Time for me to make a minor appearance and confuse fans that use the anime labs subs! Hah! *Hildagarn slaps him around*. Hey... there was nothing in here about me getting beaten up like this... ah!
Trunks: Ah! We need megazord power! Now!
*Goten and Trunks fuse*
Gotenks: Megazord activated! *Hits Hildagarn with a Shine! Shine! missile.*
Hoi: Not so fast! Magic wand, make my monster Grow!
*Hildagarn transforms*
Gohan: Ah! This calls for more bad one-liners!
*Hildagarn slaps Gotenks around. Gotenks splits back into Goten and Trunks.*
Goten: Ah!
Trunks: Ah!
Gohan: Goten! Trunks!
Tapion: That's it! It's time for Dragonzord! *Plays flute*
Hoi: No! He's calling on the Dragonzord! Maybe I should hit him with a magic attack! On second thought... I'll just sit over here and gripe about it!
*Hildagarn is absorbed into Tapion*
Tapion: Ah... not again. Well, I guess we can finish him more easily now. Hey Trunks, since you're the closest person to me that is currently alive, why don't you kill me and take both Hildagarn and your new best friend out of the universe!
Trunks: Wait... what?
Tapion: Kill us before it's too late!
Trunks: But then I'll cry in front of a bunch of tough guys. And you're cool.
Tapion: Yeah, but if you spend much more time debating it he'll escape!
Trunks: Oh, fine. *picks up sword* *hildagarn escapes*
*Goku goes SSJ3*
Tapion: Ah! It's about time Dragonzord got here! Alright, let's show him what we're made of!
Goku: Actually... I was going to fight alone.
Trunks: Well so much for this otherwise perfectly good sword scene...
Goku: Dragon Fist! Ur... Fire! Ur... Ah! Ryu Ken! There we go.
*Hildagarn steps on Hoi and then dies*

Tapion: Ok, well, I guess since we won it doesn't matter if you were a wimp or honestly cared. Actually... I'm pretty glad I wasn't the one that had to make that decision, heh... I mean... yeah, you can keep the sword.
Trunks: Cool!
Goten: I haven't gotten to do anything cool! Can I at least get a picture with the sword?
Bolma: Ok, we can tell the japanese that this is a time machine, but it's imperative that the English speaking world doesn't know!
Tapion: No problem!

[Kaboom]

Classic Power Rangers = "teh r0xx0rz."

[caejones]

. Indeed.
*suddenly remembers the Pilof Megazord from the Fortuneteller Baba bit*

[Xyex]

Oh
My
God

I can't believe I didn't see this sooner! That's fucking hilarious! XD

[Jerseymilk]

Wahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

[caejones]

Hmm, I think a lot of the humor is kinda half-hearted and would be annoying if we didn't know what was being referenced. But thanks for feedback anyway!